Five Things I learned at Clarion West: Part 5
I could go on for many more posts about all the things I’ve learned from Clarion West. But with application season drawing to a close, this seems as good a place as any to wrap this series up.
Trust yourself.
And get the hell out of your own way.
This is by no means an easy lesson to learn. I’m still learning it–sometimes the hard way. I’d be willing to bet that even some established writers struggle with this. At least that’s what I tell myself when I feel self-doubt coming on…
Self-Doubt is a familiar companion to many of us. It can whisper seductively in your ear while you’re pounding out that first draft, trying to convince you that your first drafts are never any good. It can carp at you during revisions, mocking you for your slim vocabulary and cliched dialogue. It likes to look over your shoulder and “tsk tsk” when you write that query letter or send off that story to Amazing Impossible Tales. In short, Self-Doubt is an asshole.
At Clarion West, there’s really not much time to listen to Self-Doubt. You have ONE WEEK to write the best story you can, so Self-Doubt should go take a flying f—. If it helps, adopt a zen attitude, and remember this: you’re not at Clarion West to write award-winning stories. You’re there to learn how to write them. Trust yourself. Write loose, write tight, whatever you need. But remember most of the effort will come later (after the workshop) in revisions. Once you let go a little bit, Self-Doubt gets bored and wanders off.
Another thing about trusting yourself: feedback is important, but not the end of all things. You’re going to get a lot of very smart people telling you what they think your story should be. Listen. There may be some valuable insight in your fellow students’ critiques. But there may not be. Or some comments will be good, but in your gut, you know they aren’t good fits for your story. Learn to distinguish between good feedback and feedback you can use.
Finally, when you leave Clarion West, you’re going to have seventeen other voices in your head. They may lodge in there for six months, a year, even for many years–providing commentary as you write and revise. Sometimes that can be useful (“Hmm, I hear Andy telling me not to use so many passive verbs” or “I don’t think Andy would approve of my handwaving the science like this”).
Sometimes, though, those helpful voices that sound like your friends and colleagues are just Self-Doubt in disguise. It’s a good mimic and often knows what you want to hear. Don’t be lulled. Keep writing and it will shut up.
Postscript:
By now most of the applications to Clarion West are in, and the waiting game has begun for many of you. I wish everyone who applied the best of luck — and if you don’t get in this year, try again next year. It took me a few tries, too.
Above all, keep writing. Clarion West is an amazing experience, and the best way to prepare for it is to sit your butt in the chair and write!
Good Luck!