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Five Things I learned at Clarion West: Part 5

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I could go on for many more posts about all the things I’ve learned from Clarion West. But with application season drawing to a close, this seems as good a place as any to wrap this series up.

Trust yourself.

And get the hell out of your own way.

This is by no means an easy lesson to learn. I’m still learning it–sometimes the hard way. I’d be willing to bet that even some established writers struggle with this. At least that’s what I tell myself when I feel self-doubt coming on…

Self-Doubt is a familiar companion to many of us. It can whisper seductively in your ear while you’re pounding out that first draft, trying to convince you that your first drafts are never any good. It can carp at you during revisions, mocking you for your slim vocabulary and cliched dialogue. It likes to look over your shoulder and “tsk tsk” when you write that query letter or send off that story to Amazing Impossible Tales. In short, Self-Doubt is an asshole.

At Clarion West, there’s really not much time to listen to Self-Doubt. You have ONE WEEK to write the best story you can, so Self-Doubt should go take a flying f—. If it helps, adopt a zen attitude, and remember this: you’re not at Clarion West to write award-winning stories. You’re there to learn how to write them. Trust yourself. Write loose, write tight, whatever you need. But remember most of the effort will come later (after the workshop) in revisions. Once you let go a little bit, Self-Doubt gets bored and wanders off.

Another thing about trusting yourself: feedback is important, but not the end of all things. You’re going to get a lot of very smart people telling you what they think your story should be. Listen. There may be some valuable insight in your fellow students’ critiques. But there may not be. Or some comments will be good, but in your gut, you know they aren’t good fits for your story. Learn to distinguish between good feedback and feedback you can use.

Finally, when you leave Clarion West, you’re going to have seventeen other voices in your head. They may lodge in there for six months, a year, even for many years–providing commentary as you write and revise. Sometimes that can be useful (“Hmm, I hear Andy telling me not to use so many passive verbs” or “I don’t think Andy would approve of my handwaving the science like this”).

Sometimes, though,  those helpful voices that sound like your friends and colleagues are just Self-Doubt in disguise. It’s a good mimic and often knows what you want to hear. Don’t be lulled. Keep writing and it will shut up.

Postscript:

By now most of the applications to Clarion West are in, and the waiting game has begun for many of you. I wish everyone who applied the best of luck — and if you don’t get in this year, try again next year. It took me a few tries, too.

Above all, keep writing. Clarion West is an amazing experience, and the best way to prepare for it is to sit your butt in the chair and write!

Good Luck!

 

Five Things I Learned at Clarion West: Part 4

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Okay, I’m not a runner, but I have a lot of friends who are. This analogy resonates with me.

Writing is a Marathon.

The experience at Clarion West can definitely feel like a marathon–there’s a lot of training to get ready for it. You write, you read a lot of short stories and novels, maybe you even practice sleep deprivation techniques to prepare!

Then you arrive at the workshop, and try to balance all the writing, reading, critiquing and socializing. The first week is easy. You’re excited to be there (“ohmygodiamatclarionwest!”), you’re meeting all these wonderful folks, some writers you’ve always admired, and you know the words will just flow. The start of a race is always easy.

Week Two is suddenly upon you, and the first hill doesn’t look too bad. You start to climb it, sure of reaching the top with the rest of the pack, and you do, though maybe a few paces behind or ahead. You’re definitely feeling the exertion, but it’s not too bad. There’s no place you’d rather be, after all.

Week Three is a little bit of  slog. You’ve got the routines down now. You know the drill, but exhaustion creeps in at the edges, crisping your brain and dulling some of the excitement you felt when the workshop started. As tired as you are, it occurs to you that the experience is almost halfway done, and you get a little sad. You can see the rest of the path unwinding before you. Only three weeks left! But there’s a story that still needs to be written, and you  put your eyes down and focus on just getting past this next obstacle.

Week Four, your spirits lift a bit. It’s time for a second wind. Some of the run is downhill, and you feel like maybe you’re finally getting the hang of things. You’ve had some good stories, material you feel just might be publishable. Some of your classmates are way out in front, some are lagging, but you’re all in sight of each other.

Week Five. The last hill. Your legs are burning, your chest heaving. You didn’t know that it could be this hard. Worse, you have no reserves left. Sleep comes erratically and thin, and you can’t remember the last time you ate right. Your family and friends from the outside are missing you, and they call from the sidelines, both a comforting and unwelcoming distraction. The workshop is almost over, too, and the goodbyes are coming.

Week Six. As you near the finish line, the adrenaline kicks in again, and there’s a joyous, festive energy permeating the week. The jokes come quick, the comaraderie is easy, and despite the dark circles of exhaustion under everyone’s eyes, elation is high. Every moment is a celebration of the passage you’ve just made. The elation is almost enough to balance out the sadness of the experience coming to an end.

This is an oversimplification of my experience at Clarion West, obviously. But it taught me a lot about how to approach the writing life (which, despite the analogy, is not actually a race, see Part 1 of this series).

I’m really just starting out, though I’ve had some nice successes already. Even this early, though, my sense of the career is that I have to take the long view. Every blog entry, every short story sale, every novel I may write are just mile-markers in a very long and winding road. I’ve got to pace myself. Focus on the tasks at hand, but with an eye on the horizon as well. Many people run marathons for reasons beyond winning them: endurance, persistance, and the satisfaction of finishing a sometimes grueling race are the real rewards.

Sounds like some pretty good advice for writers, too.

Five Things I Learned at Clarion West: Part 3

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Go to the Parties.

Despite the heavy emphasis on honing your writing craft at Clarion West, there are many opportunities to get up from your desk, shake off the dust, and mingle with folks who are into all the same things you are. It’s unlikely you will ever have an experience quite like CW again in your life–rarely will so many writers and other interesting people be within easy conversation distance. I’m not just talking about the organized social activities, either. Five minute trips to the bathroom can easily become three hour discussions on narrative structure, point of view,  or which Doctor is best (scarves, baggy suits, or bow ties?).

Clarion West has a weekly routine of book signings, meals, and especially Friday night parties. These are usually held in the homes of local supporters* of the workshop and draw people from all over: former Clarion West and Clarion grads, past instructors, established authors, often cool and interesting people who don’t write at all but who are friends of the community. There will be the temptation to skip some of these parties, with that story deadline hammering in your head. You’ll be bone-tired (especially by Week Five) and perhaps feel unable to stand unaided for any length of time without assistance.

You’ll only have so much energy, and maybe sometimes it’s better to stay in and go to bed early. Only you can be the judge of that, but…consider going at least for a little while. You never know what conversations you might have or the friends you might make.

Speaking of friends, your classmates will probably be some of the best friends you ever make. I know that’s true in my case. Enjoy your summer vacation with these folks. Odds are pretty good that you’ll be cheering each other on for the rest of your lives.

Everyone’s different, of course. I’m sometimes painfully shy and introverted. Meeting new people can be hard, even intimidating. (especially if they’re an author you’ve always liked!) Some parties, I just stuck safely in the corner with my Clarion buds, basking in the glow of new friendships and free beer.

Everyone comes to an experience like Clarion West with their own priorities, and you are there to learn how to be a better writer. But I think one of the paths to this goal is connecting to the community of other writers and building that network of friendship and mutual support.

After the workshop ends, there will always be more events. Readings. Crit groups. Seminars. Dinners. Conventions. Hopefully you’ll get to see a lot of your old friends at the cons. Make new ones. Look for the opportunities to say “hi” to that dude looking through the stack of free books. The wait for the elevator in the hotel might be long. Why not strike up a conversation with the other folks waiting?

The act of writing is by necessity a lonely business, but being a writer doesn’t have to be.

*These kind souls must be thanked profusely for their generous hospitality!

Five Things I learned at Clarion West: Part 2

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I meant for this second installment to come sooner. The cold germs had other ideas.

So writing is not a competition. What’s next?

Write outside your comfort zone.

You’re not going to Clarion West (or any other workshop) for business as usual. No writing habit you’ve developed is going to survive this experience unscathed. You’ll be writing stories at a breakneck pace without all the usual ideation and warm-up time. There will be enormous pressure to perform (which sometimes means just finishing the damn story). Be prepared to throw out all your old crutches. Embrace the fact that you might be writing at 11pm. 1am. 3am.

I arrived at Clarion West with a handful of ideas. I ended up writing on only one of them. I found myself so caught up in the play of new concepts and exchanges of ideas with my fellow classmates that none of my canned ideas for stories remained as appealing as they once were. Dig a little deeper.

While you’re digging, think about what our second-week instructor Maureen McHugh told us: “Write stories that would embarrass your grandmother.” What she meant was: don’t hold back. Unearth the deep stuff, write boldly. Sex? Check. Violence? Check. Don’t feel you have to be nice to your characters. Don’t be afraid to tell a story that leaves the reader conflicted, uneasy. Reconsider those happy endings.

Experiment. I tried to do something new with every story I wrote while at Clarion West. Sometimes this meant writing outside of the genres I generally like (fantasy, horror). I wrote a magical realism story. I even braved some hard science fiction (which I suspect wasn’t all that hard at all). SF is something I’d avoided, somewhat intimidated by all that “science” stuff. I found I actually enjoyed writing it. Be open to discover that SF writer in you.

You know where I’m going with this, right?

When you leave the workshop, there’s no reason to quit challenging yourself. Every story is an opportunity to take yourself (and the reader) someplace you’ve never been before. When you experiment with voice, structure, or point-of-view, you get better at all those things. Write science fiction if you normally write fantasy. Write horror if you normally write science fiction. Dig deep into the soil of your psyche and fictionalize the things that matter to you.

Not every experiment will be a success, but that’s okay, too.

(Dr)Ink Gorilla goes on the road: The Booze Nerd

I’ve blogged about cocktails again!

Patrick Hester and John Anealio, the internet’s original Functional Nerds, invited me to chat about cocktails over on their blog. You can find my first post over there now — all about the Corpse Reviver #2!

I’ll be posting on the Functional Nerds once a month, with an emphasis on classic cocktails and starting your own home bar. You can still find my inebriated maunderings here as well, though I’ll be focusing on more complex drinks and advanced mixology.

Thanks again to Patrick and John!

Cheers!

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